[ME] OK, so I'm going to ask you a few questions about the medications you take every day.
[PATIENT] (exasperated sigh) I wrote all that down so you won't have to ask me again.
[ME] Your typed list is great, but I'd like to go over the meds individually, for your safety.
[PATIENT] I know, you guys ask me the same thing every time, that's why I typed it all out, so I don't have to repeat myself over and over. Can't you just read the list?
[ME] OK, so... you're saying this list is complete, and that you are taking these doses, and that you haven't changed your medications or your doses since you typed this?
[PATIENT] Of course it's right... I wouldn't have spent all that time and energy typing all that and then print it out if it wasn't right... I mean, dammit, how many god-damm times do I have to repeat the same things over and over? Just read the list for Christ sake...
[ME] Well, just for laughs, let me just go over the first one with you... is that OK? I know it's probably all correct, but let's just see, is that ok? Let's take a look-see at this here list... Ah, the first one here... Pepcid, you take Pepcid 20mg once a day, right?
[PATIENT] Oh God no, I haven't taken Pepcid in MONTHS...
[ME] … … ...
The other one we love is the one that goes:
Nurse: So do you drink alcohol?
Pt: Oh no, I NEVER drink, maybe once a year... I think I drank a Shirley Temple at the Millenium New Year...
Nurse: OK, so when was the last time you had any kind of alhocol?
PT: Had a half of fifth earlier this evening...
Nurse: ... ....
Posted by: Eric | March 24, 2011 at 02:56 PM
If I had a nickle for every time that happened to me, I could buy the Wrigley mansion.
Posted by: shrimplate | March 24, 2011 at 11:20 AM