eric135

First Presidential Debate

We sat down and watched the First Presidential Debate. It was on TiVo because of my work schedule.

On the Economy:

• McCain opened the night with the old soundbyte about the study of the DNA of bears. It's an easy target since the subject really was about averting economic disaster. But it no longer surprises me that the United States continues to lose its place as the world leader in pure scientific research. One of the primary laws of scientific research is that you just never know what you will find, and how freakishly often we find what we need while studying weird tree bark, dog semen, pond scum or ball lightning.
• In general, I believed Obama more than I believed McCain. A lot of the fight was over specific numbers that could be fudged either way. As I've said before, I support more government oversight when the retirement income of millions of Americans is at risk.
• I didn't get the feeling McCain has any understanding of the middle class, or middle class challenges.

On what either candidate would have to give up should an economic rescue plan be put in effect:

• McCain was much more decisive that he would consider spending freezes.
• McCain went into a weird sideline of how liberal Obama was. Obama had a nice moment telling McCain it wasn't that he was trying to be liberal, but that he was anti-Bush.
• I believed Obama when he said the best thing to give up would be the $10 billion/month cost of the war in Iraq.
• McCain uses the term "Maverick" too much, and kept saying he never ran for Miss Congeniality in the senate. Who cares.

About the war in Iraq:

• I agreed with Obama that the cost of the war ($10B/mo) is too high, that the surge is old news, that we should concentrate on getting Bin Laden, and that we should have a timetable to exit Iraq.
• McCain did a good job showing his many years of experience, and the number of times he has visited a lot of places and met a lot of people with strange names.
• The whole thing about the bracelets ended up a win for Obama.

About Iran:

• I agreed with Obama that the war in Iraq has essentially strengthened Iran.
• I agreed with Obama that America has to have discussions with nations we don't get along with. I don't think this would necessarily legitimize these leaders/nations.
• I agreed with Obama that labelling nations "Evil" will make things worse, and will egg them on to develop nuclear weapons.

About Russia:

• I didn't see much difference between the two candidates.

About post 9/11 America:

• Surprisingly, this section of the debate was not a clear win for McCain.
• There wasn't much substantive difference bewteen the two candidates.
• I agreed with Obama that there is too much being spent in Iraq that could be better spent in Afghanistan hunting for Bin Laden.

Overall, I'd say the first debate was a draw, but polls are showing that the public views it as an Obama win. I might agree with this because, given the fact that the topic was mostly about foreign policy, it could have been a clear McCain win. I thought Obama did a good job maintaining a believable image of a leader that can take on international challenges.

I like the fact that the crowd was instructed not to applaud or cheer for their candidate. I think this kept the candidates on topic, and probably spared us a lot of the usual soundbytes.

I thought McCain was unduely aggressive toward Obama, and I didn't like it whenever he said "Obama just doesn't understand." It seemed very old and stodgy.

I wish Obama would have called McCain "Senator McCain" rather than "John." It made him sound patronizing and not as respectful as McCain seemed. Although the fact that Obama said "John is right" as often as McCain said "Obama just doesn't understand" made me doubt how great McCain is at crossing the aisle.

So overall I liked Obama more than I liked McCain.

Where the Hell is Matt?

My room mate showed me this video a few days ago. At first, I just thought it was a weird fellow, doing what a lot of folks do on YouTube. I could tell I really liked the music, but it was just a guy dancing a silly dance in cities from all over the world.

Then I got to the part of the show where the folks ran into the picture, and I finally got it. Folks were happy, laughing, enjoying the commonality of really bad dancing. Everybody wanted to dance. Hell, I even think that guard in the demilitarized zone in Korea really just wanted to dance, but couldn't.

I've watched the video dozens of times at this point, trying to pick out individual people (some of them have really good moves). My favorite parts:

• The guy from Stockholm, Sweden, standing to the far right... sort of Matt meets Riverdance.
• The guy standing next to Matt in Thimphu, Bhutan. He's totally got the moves down and is really pleased with himself.
• The dancers from Gurgaon, India. It's the only spot where Matt changes his "spaghetti noodle" dance to match their movements.
• The four girls from Tokyo Japan.
• The whales from Vava'u, Tonga (I believe they're whales).
• The guy from Paris, France ... he's the one in the front, with the beard, a white T-shirt. Serious moves.

From Where the Hell is Matt?

For Children, The Benefits of a Losing Team

I've been reading some of the free online content of the New York Times. There's an article there, "For Children, The Benefits of a Losing Team." It's a pretty good read about how kids can sometimes learn more from being on a losing team than a winning team.

I've never played on a team sport. Well, that's not quite true. When I was about 13 years old, our neighborhood started up a boys' baseball team, and my parents decided to put me on it.

It was undoubtedly one of the most terrifying memories of my life. To this day, I still can not watch a game of baseball without my heartrate skyrocketing. My palms sweat, and I start exhibiting nervous ticks (like an undeniable urge to eat cheetos).

To say I sucked at baseball would be a serious understatement. I mean, Steven Hawking would be better at it.

I may have played in one or two games, and they were as pitiful as those despicable games of dodgeball those of us older than 30 were subjected to in junior high. I caught more high flies with the open expanse of my forehead than with my (still spankin' brand new to this day) baseball mitt.

I remember on gamedays, getting on my knees, praying to God for an afternoon of rain. I have yet to forgive him for failing to deliver, and giving us the sunniest, warmest damned summer of my youthful memory.

That first season, we had an undefeated record. We beat everyone, some of them so badly I actually would play for most of the game. I didn't learn anything more than a life-long despise of the game, with the silly hats and those strange pants with the strap. When they had the ceremony where every team member got a trophy, I stayed at home, and when the coach of the team (what a crazy maniac, he'd hit the ball right at us as hard as he could to teach us a lesson on how to be men) came by to give me my trophy, I for a moment wondered if he simply could not cross the threshold of our home unless the man of the house invited him in.

Would it have been a better experience if it had been a losing team? I doubt it. Teaching kids how to lose is really 100 times more difficult than teaching them how to win, and I don't think that coach had it in him. And getting to play in more games? The article suggests that as a plus.

I would have cut myself.

Kids have it really rough these days. I was allowed to pursue a love of reading, years of classical piano, and the overactive imagination of having only four channels on the TV. Libraries didn't have an age limit on the books I borrowed, my parents allowed me to join an adult book club (two of the earliest books I can remember was that book Alive, and Wifey), and, oh yes, Star Trek was heavily into syndication.

Hardly room for team sports.

Oh great, I work at the Hole...

This sign has been in front of the employee entrance of my hospital for months now. I used to think it was funny... charming even... but now that things have gotten a bit ugly at work, the sign infuriates me every time I pass beneath it.

I can't tell if the sign is missing the word "ass", "black", or "shit".

I've been spending the past couple of nights doing less "charge nurse" type bullshit duties, just to get back into the bedside caregiver routine. Even if I make the decision to remain as night shift charge, this whole experience has opened my eyes as to how much time I spend doing stoopid stuff. I'm not saying it shouldn't be done, but I spend a lot of time shuffling papers, keeping up files, keeping track of nurses' charting habits, and it seems all I really want to do is wipe asses participate in direct patient care. I was lucky, no big problems (except last night we had a guy drop his heart rate to 10) and most of the nurses on duty were as strong clinically as I am.

It was nice.

The drama over the resignation of my boss continues. I'm not saying I've been behaving badly, but there is the distinct odor of burned bridges in the air. Oh well, I just can't help myself when it comes to good 'ol email flame wars with the crazy fucks that can fire my ass.

Last night, there was a card going around the floor, with the night and day shift folks writing their goodbyes. They were all certainly heart-felt, but they all sort of said this:

Good Luck! God Bless! We will miss you! We have all learned so much from you! Take care of yourself! Godspeed!

This is what I wrote:

What the Hell is going on with the crazy crackwhores we work for? The stupid crap that has spewed from their worthless gaps has made me wonder if I'm too damn old to get into Law School... So go find us a nice place to work, and save room for me...

I mean honestly, I just can't help myself.

My boss is resigning, and I'm mad as hell...

After years of conflict with most of the physicians in my hospital, my boss is turning in her resignation. I really hate seeing her go, so much so that I wrote a letter to the CEO, the COO, the Vice President of Nursing, the Head of Human Resources, and the other charge nurses.

The letter sums up a lot of the frustrations I face as charge, and thought it made a good post. You can tell I'm angry because the more passionate I get, the longer my sentences get.

To set the mood, I'm replying to an email from my boss, Terri, who is asking me to reconsider my thoughts of giving up charge and returning to the floor as a staff nurse, a task for which I feel I am generally more suited anyway.

Let the drama begin...

Dear Terri,

 

These are terrible times, and I know, after a full day of emails and phone calls, that many of our staff are going through the throes of despair about what is going on with you. I think many of us are "reading between the lines" and have come to the conclusion that you are being forced to resign, if not directly, then at least in an indirect way by setting up a hopeless scenario. I think that is what is so upsetting to us, that someone who has so dependably and effectively served her staff so faithfully and fairly over the years is now subject to perceived unfairness and indeed cruelty. I know that you are making this decision based on your own needs, and on the best interests of our unit. I know this because you have always put the unit first, even at the expense of your pride and determination. We just don't want to sit on the sidelines and see one of our beloved champions get rail-roaded.

 

I know you have already made up your mind, but I hope you will consider taking back your resignation. Most of the day, I have spent reflecting on all of my own personal selfish reasons for keeping you as the Clinical Director. We have worked so well over the years, and I can honestly say without even a hint of hesitation or reservation that you are, by far, the most capable and gifted leader I have ever worked with, and I say that having worked every year of my life in a hospital setting, from the age of 17 until my present age of 47. I have worked with a lot of talented leaders. I have worked with a lot of incompetent leaders. You are the most gifted not only because of the mundane day-to-day challenges all managers face (the budget, staffing, recruiting and retention, blah blah blah) but you have an uncanny gift to allow your staff to not only enable their individual abilities, but indeed to amplify them. In the few years I have worked with you as charge, I have found new strengths previously unknown to me, and I have withstood personal and professional challenges that I simply would not have survived without your leadership. So, on a very personal and selfish level, your leaving represents a real blow.

 

We are all painfully aware of the ever-degrading relationship you have had with many of the physicians on our staff. I have seen firsthand how judgmental and unfair some of them (not all of them) have been, and I have witnessed you doing your best to not only give their concerns a voice among nurses, but also to give our version of the events to physicians who are angry. I have suffered verbal abuse and humiliation at the hands of physicians who, for whatever reason, do not fully appreciate the challenges we face on our Unit. They don't appreciate our level of turnover, with nurses at times handling four or five patients, along with admissions, discharges, and a system where physicians do not communicate with one another and thus leave gaps in the patients' care -- gaps which, when a nurse notifies a physician, subject too many nurses to anger for interrupted sleep, or too many phone calls, etc. The technical side of our profession increases ominously every year, and with it come challenges for nurses who must communicate with physicians. As our physicians yearn for a more "9 to 5" existence, this conflict is sure to become more violent and distasteful as the years go on.

 

I remember my first year as a new grad nurse, when we first started doing chemical cardioversion on the floor, rather than moving the patient to the Intensive Care Unit. My first cardioversion was attended by myself, my charge nurse, another nurse from the floor, the clinical educator for the unit, the charge nurse of ICU, two respiratory therapist, the attending physician, a resident, and the Cardiologist. In the span of a few short years, I now exercise the responsibility of literally stopping and restarting someone's heart, and do so with the assistance of another nurse and a respiratory therapist. Our skills over the years have grown, and I know with certainty that our skills have directly or indirectly saved the lives of many patients. However, on a daily basis, we are faced with the possibility of verbal abuse and belittlement from physicians who are not willing or able to communicate effectively with their own patients, who show no compassion for patients in horrific pain, or who show a heartless disdain for the families of the frail and elderly, who have the audacity to want to speak directly with their loved one's caregivers. We, on a regular basis, force air into lungs, shock hearts into beating again, and  rescue the most vague sparks of life, and yet we have been accused of falsifying patient weights, practicing medicine without a license, and not knowing how to do I&Os because we can't force an alert patient to measure his/her urine as instructed. These abuses are a constant nightmare that has sadly become a part of our profession. You have endlessly proven your resolve to be fair to all parties involved, and we all know you have now paid for this resolve in the harshest way.

 

When we spoke on the phone yesterday, you mentioned some survey that the physicians filled out, which may have played a role in your demise. As I think about this, I must admit that my eyes found themselves rolling to the back of my head with such sarcastic and unbelievable disdain, I fear I may have actually sprained my eyeballs. To think that some physician survey may be at hand, with a group of physicians with such a low Press Ganey rate of approval, makes me sick. The last I looked, the physicians had satisfaction rates as low as 10%, 5%, even 3% in some areas. These are shockingly low values, considering how difficult it is to get away from the "mean" score of 50%. I find it laughable that they can say anything negative about our satisfaction scores, which are well above the mean, and which we consistently strive, under your direction, to get as high as 90%, 95%, even 98% in some areas. I find it interesting that, while you resolve to beat the mean so handily, the physicians are beaten by these statistics so grossly. Some would consider it believable that they would "gun down" anyone that makes them look bad (and, Terri that would be you, we all know).

 

I also find it very telling that, as I contemplate leaving the charge nurse position (I know a hopeless cause when I see one), your first response was one of concern for the needs of night shift staff. Telling, but not so surprising. You are well known to put our needs above your own. If your leadership can not see this, then we all are surely heading straight to hell in the proverbial hand basket.

 

God save our patients.

 

God save our nurses.

 

God save us all.

"This is not a ship of war... this is a ship of Peace..."

I watched the last night of the Republican National Convention. I've basically spent the past several hours looking at my computer screen, staring at the first sentence of this blog entry. I just didn't find that much to write about, and that in itself is very telling.

• Generally, that speech just wasn't well written or well delivered. I know McCain doesn't have great public speaking skills, and has always been defined by his personal beliefs, rather than his oratory skills. But the acceptance speech of the presidential nominee was really weak.
• The crowd at the convention center didn't find much to go with either.
• The best part of the speech was more emotive than oratory -- his description of how his POW experience changed his life, and sparked his great love for his country. As I've written before, this is very compelling.
• His speech contained the word "fight" way too much. I'm stealing someone's words here (and can't find them for a link) but McCain's Stand and Fight, in my mind, pales in comparison to Obama's Hope and Change.
• McCain can't get around the fact that he is Republican, and the Republicans have run the show for the past 8 years, and they did a horrible job of finding anything positive to say about that time period. I mean, surely, there has to be SOMETHING they can stand on other then the Surge.

Which brings me to the title of my post.

It's from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The one where the predecessor of the Enterprise comes through a "hole in time" and totally screws up history, and changes the Enterprise into a warship carrying troops to war against the Klingons. Whoopie Goldberg's character, Guinan (who has the ability to detect the changes in time) goes to Captain Picard and tells him that things are all wrong, and that the war shouldn't be happening, and in fact, the Enterprise should be carrying families instead of troops.

Picard increduously replies, "Families?!?  Guinan, we're at WAR!!"

To which Guinan says, "This war shouldn't be happening... this isn't a ship of war... this is a ship of Peace!!"

I know, too much Star Trek.

But I do feel that much of the Republican "sense of identity" is based on War, and the only selling point I have heard for the party is war, war and more war. There has to be something else.

Well now we know how they throw down a party in Sparta

I've watched another night of the Republican Convention.

• I was not very impressed with the reaction to the CEO of eBay and HP. The speeches were not all that inspiring, and it didn't seem as though anyone in the audience was paying attention.
• I thought too much of the convention was devoted to the polarization of America into two camps, the Liberals vs. the Conservatives.
• While I don't think terrorists deserve any rights at all, I do think that anyone that is under suspicion of doing terrorist activities deserves to have at least basic human rights until absolute evidence is gathered. I don't believe that all of those detained in Guatanimo are terrorists, and I can't figure it out because they have not been afforded any rights to Habeus Corpus.
• I agree that Americans generally do better when competition is allowed to proceed fairly, and that the American system will weed out weak and wasteful competitors. But what is happening is that failed corporations and capital ventures are placing the assets of Americans -- mortgages and pensions -- at risk. I believe in hands-off government, but I believe anything that can destroy the retirement livelihoods of millions of Americans can use some bigger government.
• I was disappointed that the convention could not find even a sliver of positive outcomes after 8 years of Republican administration. I mean, they have had a Republican President, a predominantly Republican Senate and/or House of Representative for 4-6 years, and an overwhelmingly Republican Superior Court. After all this, all they could do is tell Obama "You Suck!" ?  That's the best positive influence you could come up with?
• I find Huckabee likeable and entertaining, but that silly story about the teacher that didn't give her students desks was unbelievable.  I mean, what did those 100-150 students do all day?
• It is always easlier to bully and tear down than it is to work together to build. It takes more leadership ability to find commonalities and appreciate diversity and take advantage of that. Bullies know that, when you can't come up with something nice to say, you can just pumch someone in the face. That's the message I got all night long.
• The audience spent a lot of time laughing. And it didn't feel like an enjoyable and appreciative laughter. It was sarcastic and mean and it worked a lot to make the Republican party look unfriendly.
• So who doesn't want energy independence? Both want to reduce taxes... Both want healthcare for everyone... Both want to help big businesses. Come on folks, give me something to compare you guys besides how mean you can kick a democrat.
• This election is going to be urban America vs. sub-urban America.
• I need to figure out what a community organizer does. My thoughts are that they may well be the force that gets things done in local communities. Was Martin Luther a community organizer?
• There are rumours out now that Palin has voted in the past to support that Bridge to Nowhere. If they find that, she'll be in trouble.
• You can't beat the applie-pie image of her family, with the kids, the babies, and pregnant daughter with her fiance... I mean you can't beat that no matter what party you are in.
• More POW stuff. They need to take the POW to some other place. Heroes are heroes, and we all owe a debt of gratitude to POWs and soldiers. But does that automatically mean they make good presidents?
• WHERE THE HELL ARE THE MINORITIES?

Well, Wednesday night did go better than Tuesday night. But I'm left to wonder... could I be a Spartan?  I find that more and more difficult to believe.

Gosh that didn't go down well...

I spent the night watching the Republican National Convention.

I decided that, for this election, I would really give both parties a chance to present their case and I'd vote according to the issues.

So I sat down to see what the Republicans would have to say.

I'm not very impressed. I'm thinking maybe their first real night of convention coverage was so distasteful because maybe they are still recovering from all of the disruption of Hurricane Gustav. I certainly hope so. I mean, what a fiasco.

• I'm really disturbed at how poorly represented minorities are, at least if you had to judge this by the camera shots of the convention. I mean, it basically was a bunch of old white men. I didn't see any minority speakers (at least not during prime time), no women other than First Lady Bush, and no young folks. It was glaring.
• I am offended at the thought that the Republicans seem to think that if you are not a veteran, if you don't support the war, that you are not an American and that you are thus against the brave young men and women making the ultimate sacrifice in the war. I can understand some suggestion of this, but it was a constant ongoing message. Those "Country First" signs seem to suggest that if you aren't Republican, you are against the soldiers. This totally offended and alienated me.
• I was not convinced that being a Prisoner of War, as a matter of fact, prepares someone to be President of the United States. I think it makes someone brave and heroic, and I think John McCain is very brave and I consider him an American Hero, but I didn't see anything that convinced me that this clearly means he is an obvious choice to be President.
• I chuckled when the sattelite statement by President Bush was immediatly followed up by a video tribute to Ronald Reagan.
• President Bush's statement about the "angry left" made me... well... angry. Especially when this statement was made not at a political rally, but from the White House.
• Joe Lieberman speaking at a Republican convention? Oh come on... he's a loser, couldn't win his Democratic Party's primary in 2006, so he had to run as an independent. Jesus, he'll be speaking at Ralph Nadr's Green Party convention next. He made me sick. And when he gave such a strong endorsement to Palin, even though they are totally 180 degrees apart on many of the issues, such as abortion rights. I found him completely and totally unbelievable.
• I didn't really want to hang out with the Republicans. Their music sucked, they can't dance, and their stage show was boring.

Well, I am still trying to keep an open mind. I wonder how much Gustav "rushed the show" and maybe they just couldn't get their act together. I mean, after each and every night of the Democratic Convention, I went away feeling hopeful and positive, and I really felt like I had witnessed history while I listened to Obama's acceptance speech. I never found myself so angry at the television that I had to put the TiVo on "pause" while I stormed into another room to "cool down" enough to watch the rest of the show.

My assessment? Republicans are, so far, a very bad taste in my mouth.

It has never been about me. It's been about you. (A post that was never uploaded)...

I was getting ready to write a post about the Republican National Convention, and found that this post, written the night of Obama's acceptance speech, never got uploaded. Not sure if it's the ongoing upgrade to Typepad, or if I just plain forgot to click "send". So anyway, a bit late:

We watched Obama give his acceptance speech.

They made a big huge deal about the Greek columns behind him. I just found that so stupid. It reminded me of a good friend who used to complain about his dates' long nail beds.

The speech was another great bit of oratory. You can read the content word for word, but this is what I got out of it:

• John McCain voted with George Bush 90% of the time
• John McCain has been quoted as saying America is going through a "mental recession," that the economy has imroved, and that we are a nation of whiners.
• Says he will not raise taxes, but will actually reduce taxes for 95% of American taxpayers. He says he will do this by closing loopholes for big corporations, rewarding corporations that make/keep jobs in America, and eliminating capital gains taxes for small businesses.
• Says he will work toward reducing American dependence on foreign oil, by developing wind and solar energy.
• Supports tapping national gas reserve to stabilize gas prices.
• Will invest in America by helping re-tool American auto companies to produce more fuel-efficient cars.
• Will support increased paid family leave.
• Will change bankruptcy laws to prevent loss of retirement pensions and limiting excessive CEO bonuses.
• Promises never to ignore the needs of Americans during natural disasters such as Hurricane Katrina.
• Supports gun control while maintaining the 2nd Ammendment.
• Supports a timetable for the end of the war in Iraq.
• Supports measures to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies.
• Believes gays and lesbians have the right to visit their loved ones in the hospital.

The speech was definitely an out-of-the-park home-run for Obama.